Recognising that we all are unique individuals and deserve to be treated as equals is essential.
The modern era has brought about a shift in expectations, and the truth is that not all meet the standards of being capable or responsible.
Historically, males were considered primary providers, protectors, and household leaders, but not all lived up to that standard.
While this statement holds true in certain cultures and faiths, the dynamics of relationships seem to lack equilibrium.
During a discussion with my mother, we reminisced about the era of Margaret Thatcher, when there was structure.
The consensus was that England was a Christian country with solid morals and ethics firmly established.
Families were seen as a unit, seated around the dinner table, creating a feeling of unity and closeness.
Order and consistency were present.
During my childhood in the 1970s, I found a sense of structure and discipline.
Boundaries were set for children, and there was discipline.
Despite the presence of children from dysfunctional families who were constantly misbehaving, it was necessary to remember that they were not to blame for being born into such chaos. The cycle of abuse that ran through their lineage was a contributing factor to their behaviours.
Throughout history, society has always comprised various types of family homes. While this is not a new phenomenon, the difference lies in that in the past, if you were raised in a less-than-ideal environment, it was more readily apparent.
From an external perspective, one might assume that a married couple with children is a content and harmonious family.
However, during that time, it was necessary to maintain a facade of happiness and unity outside the home.
I would never dismiss the concept of a loving, supporting family with married parents, as it is an ideal set-up for the security of the children.
When you incorporate religion and culture into the dynamic of a relationship, a whole new perspective emerges.
The concept of a Christian family unit becomes appealing when surrounded by caring, supportive individuals who are independent thinkers.
The issue arose from parents perpetuating negative traits inherited from their parents and passing them on to their children. Even worse, some parents allowed external cultural influences to interfere with their children’s upbringing.
Individuals fortunate enough to have a positive, nurturing, balanced, disciplined upbringing could pass on those positive experiences to their children, resulting in healthy minds.
Our perceptions of others are often based on surface appearances. However, what goes on behind closed doors can be vastly different.
The fact is that children who lack structure and routine will always struggle to function effectively.
Although I do not have children, I possess a solid maternal connection and a deep understanding of what children require to thrive.
Parents often get caught up in splurging on pricey presents to show their kids their love when children truly desire time, attention, presence, and emotional affection.
These are excellent examples of parents demonstrating authentic love, respect and care for their children.
Parents may not always embody specific values if they have never been taught them or experienced them growing up.
RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS
Healthy relationships and marriages: The traditional idea of what is considered “conventional” may not always apply today and can be unhealthy.
Many traditional beliefs lean toward the idea that the male species have more powers and rights than women.
While adhering to certain traditional beliefs can be beneficial for leading a virtuous life, some beliefs can hinder your personal growth and development.
I have observed that many believers reference passages from the Bible to explain or defend their actions.
Confident religious leaders exploit the belief that women should be obedient and submissive, using it to their advantage. In their eyes, a woman committing adultery is seen as a greater sin than if a man were to do the same.
When culture intertwines with religion, women are often relegated to a subordinate position, viewed as second-class citizens beneath men, and expected to fulfil the roles of serving and bearing children.
Adding to this, there are societal constructs that dictate women should remain silent unless directly addressed and that their viewpoints hold no significance.
These are the oppressive standards that many women are forced to endure still in modern society.
The issue is that today’s men do not possess the merit required to occupy positions of authority.
The individuals responsible for establishing the rules are often treading on the Devil’s path.
A man who values, cherishes, nurtures, and safeguards his wife and children would never need to enforce strict rules.
If a woman is treated with respect and kindness, she will gladly reciprocate with honesty, loyalty, love, and care towards her husband.
A husband serves as the sturdy foundation of the family, providing protection and unity to keep them strong and connected.
Successful relationships are built on a foundation of honesty and dedication.
If there is a lack of equilibrium, the relationship is destined to collapse.
As a single woman who has been in various types of relationships, I have gained a unique perspective on the matter. I don’t solely blame the other person for our relationship’s deterioration; I also acknowledge my own role and take responsibility for it.
In my opinion, I should have never entered any relationship without first loving and genuinely understanding myself.
When you lack self-awareness and self-love, you may notice that you consistently make poor, empty decisions that do not reflect your values. You begin to feel hatred towards someone because they don’t quite mesh with your reality.
They embody all the qualities you find distasteful in a person. Their actions, habits, and mindset bring negativity into your life.
The fault lies solely with me, for I lacked self-love and self-worth, understanding that solitude would ultimately be beneficial.
Although I refuse to conform to anyone’s standards, I have always used my voice and embraced my independence.
Before committing to any friendship or relationship, I had to evaluate the situation carefully.
By dedicating time to uncovering my authentic self, desires, and necessities, I could pause and reassess the attributes I sought in others.
Achieving peace of mind and reducing stress require individuals to exhibit responsibility, discipline, and competence.
I observe relationships in which men are drawn to women who embody qualities reminiscent of their mothers.
While I possess compassion, empathy, and understanding, I am not seeking to be a mother, counsellor, or doormat.
My ideal role is to have the freedom to feel vulnerable at times and openly express my emotions without fear of being dismissed or ridiculed. I envision a relationship as a cohesive unit that supports each other through difficult times with love, affection, and empathy.
After dedicating my life to constantly helping others, I have decided to relinquish my responsibilities and focus on my well-being.
In any relationship, love and support must flow freely in both directions, and there will be unity and balance.
While there is nothing inherently wrong with partners who prefer to shoulder the bulk of the responsibility for a co-dependent partner, they must remember that the choice is theirs and that their happiness is ultimately at stake.
In everything, there must be a balance.
Natalie M Bleau
Scripture of Balance