ARE YOU SELF-AWARE

I would win a medal for being the ‘world’s most impatient person.’ Don’t get me wrong; I can wait for most things, but not when it evolves around finding the solution to a problem involving human beings.

I dislike inconsiderate people who lack respect for time and space and have fewer dealings with them.

Some people think that the whole world revolves around them. They lack self-awareness wherever they are.

It boils down to a lack of common sense and respect; today’s biggest problem is ‘it’s all about them’. My answer is, ‘Time waits for no man.’

My awareness is at a high peak when I step outside my flat, and I am switched on to watch where I tread and the obstacles around me.

I am not an extrovert because I have the confidence to speak my truth to people outside, but I am a bit of a loner when in my comfort zone at home.

I was on my way to a meeting, I was running, and the bus delays were awful, and I was going to be late. Imagine this scenario: two screaming babies and several loud passengers speaking different languages on their mobile phones. That is the idea of a chaotic scene for me.

I often have panic attacks and become anxious in large crowds or if the environment around me is too loud, and I can present with much rage on such occasions, but I don’t know how I managed last night.

I have noticed that such behaviours are ignored and accepted as the norm, but the situation was that I was unable to change my route as I was dependent on this bus getting me to my meeting. 

A lady beside me heard my angry protests and was brave enough to tell me to be calm and breathe. She also told me that she understood what I was going through. If I had remained on the bus for another five minutes, I would have created an awful scene. Thank God for such interventions.

Eventually, I reached my destination; I was on time by their terms, but by my standards, I was late, and it took me a very long time to settle.

Honestly, I would not have been brave enough to try to calm me on that bus.

If I had been under the influence of alcohol or drugs, I would have been best left alone, as the outcome could have been catastrophic.

In my working life, I deal with many vulnerable people in society, whether through terminal illnesses, psychological health, or addictions.

Having had lived experience, I can empathise and support people in similar situations without judgement.

I get angry with the injustice of how patients are treated in some services, which is why I represent them.

My priorities in life today are not the ones that I made yesterday.

I was never much of a materialistic person, don’t get me wrong, I like having new things I have worked hard for. The things I have in my life today bring me peace, contentment and the feeling of purpose and happiness.

I know that happiness is not found in other people or things but within yourself, as everything else in life is temporary and likely to change at any moment. I like to live in the present and let go of anything likely to hinder my progression.

I recognise the things likely to trigger me, and I can see through people’s good or bad intentions. I know when to keep away from an unhealthy situation.

That is what lived and learned experience is about gaining wisdom.

Live, learn with wisdom, or live and unthinkingly become the fool thrice.

Practising self-awareness will open your eyes to the unhealthy behaviour patterns of others and prevent you from letting your heart rule your head.

In everything, there must be a balance.

Natalie M Bleau

The Scripture of Balance

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