I remember back when I was a child, they had a saying, which I assume was meant to protect you from unkind people. It went like this…
“Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt me.”
Although I was familiar with these words of encouragement, it never really worked because deep down in my soul, it hurt like hell.
People hurt each other in so many ways.
Abuse of any form is soul-destroying especially if you are not in control of the environment that you are in.
A case of a dysfunctional family where a child is being told, on a daily basis that they are ‘ugly, worthless and stupid.” This is the beginning of the destruction of their confidence and their feeling of self-worth, they may not function well in life, this can affect their education, relationships with others and sometimes they can become a victim or even the perpetrator in adulthood.
There is an enormous difference between an argument and a discussion.
A discussion is a calm conversation where everyone has respect for each other’s views and feelings even if they may differ, and an argument is full of hostility, aggression, lacking respect for another person’s opinion.
I find that most arguments that I have witnessed are because a person has either passed judgement on a person or criticised them.
There are also those “know all” types who are egoistic, arrogant, and aggressive, even the tone of voice changes. They are immature and have nothing to teach you, they cannot even admit when they are wrong, they always like to be in control of everyone. This type of person can never see reason.
“A word once spoken can never be recalled.”
Throughout my life I have had my fair share of the backlash of hatred and spiteful words. We all have experienced this at a point in our lives.
A relationship does not remain the same after you disrespect others, you may forgive them, but you will never trust them again. It is particularly important to think before you speak. “Least said, soonest mended”
If a person is spiteful TO me or ABOUT me, it confirms what they really think of me. I no longer take it in, as I know who I am today, I am not a malicious, spiteful, hateful human being. I will tell you the truth if you ask. I am about empowering people, not bringing them down.
I now invest my time with words to encourage and support people who, become the victims of a “serpents’ tongue”, to take back that power that they have allowed someone else to have over them.
We must be mindful of our tongues and how we use them. When I am angry with a person, I find myself doing the breathing technique before I speak to them (I much prefer this to biting my tongue).
I am not perfect, I used to be an incredibly angry human being, but now I am checking myself daily, to become a better person than yesterday, even if this means totally ignoring or eradicating a person who intends to provoke me.
In everything there is a balance.
The Scripture of Balance