This blog will only resonate with society’s genuinely ‘selfless’ or the ‘givers’.

Never feel guilty saying NO because you fear the conflict you may face.

There have been many times in my life when I should have said NO but wasted my time listening to a ‘sob story’.


“what belongs to me is no concern of yours, and I find it hard to believe you are angry with my decision.”

*I do not believe that you could call me selfish, knowing that if I was to say yes, to appease you, I risk you damaging or never replacing what belongs to me. *

A guy I only knew through therapy had asked me to loan him £30, promising he would pay me back on a said day, N.B. I am anti-lending money to people as it is a bad trait.

But I did lend this guy the money, and he kept his word and paid me back on time.

A week later, the same guy rang me for the same reason, and I said,” NO” he kindly reminded me that he did pay it back the last time. I stuck with my decision. NO!

Then he had the cheek to say to me, ‘It’s not like your short of money; it’s only £30.’. He got angry with me, and he played the mental health card.

I am wary of sob stories.  I suffer from challenges, but I would never use them with dishonesty.

‘Not my problem! There are outside services that you can borrow from. Also, it is my money, belonging to me.’

Some of you may think I may be harsh in my decision and should have lent him the £30, but it goes against my principles.

 In my experience, we overspend our money on things we do not need, hence why we should sort our debts out.

This was my story. But I only borrowed from financial institutions; I would never deprive anyone of their income.

I would have been a fool to have given in in this man’s case. It turned out this man was a serious gambler. 

This story could have had consequences if I had become a YES person. 

Eventually, the promise of payments will fall along the wayside, and I will suffer greatly.

His whole attitude about “my money” was that he was familiarising himself with me as his loan shark.

A person should learn to ACCEPT that NOONE is entitled to anyone else valuables, whatever the circumstance.

 I am more of a person who would be happy to give emotional and psychological support to a person. 

If I were asked to do a job like helping to weed a garden, I would only say YES if I wanted to. I wouldn’t say I like weeding. So, NO.

There are also these representatives of many charities, you find them everywhere, and their approach is to play on your heartstrings and put you on a guilt trip. I know that the administration and CEO benefit more from the cause.

Don’t get me wrong, I donate to several charities I am passionate about, but if I were to accept all these others, I would be begging on the corner.

With the cost of living and the money we bring in, it is enough of a struggle to hand out our direct debit details to these establishments; this should be left to those who can afford it.

As for the beggars on the street, not all of them are genuine; if they are genuinely hungry, I am happy to buy them a meal; however, there are food banks, and you should not be regularly carrying an adult.

This statement is not harsh but encourages people to take responsibility for their situations. They are not the only people on this planet that are in need.

 Some of the women who beg are linked to modern slavery. The men in their tribe send them out to make them money.


There are also vulnerable people in the community that fear falling out with relatives, so they keep financing them. Advocacy is required as this is financial abuse. NO. 

As a member of many organisations, I sometimes find myself roped into doing many duties, but for the past year, I have taken back control and have learnt to say NO.

It does not matter whether someone is related to you or you are part of a church or group. It does not give them the right to take advantage of your generosity. NO

I would rather fall out with everyone than allow anyone to blackmail me emotionally. 

Today I only do what I can, and if I do not feel like doing something, I will refuse to do it.

Another person’s attitude towards me will not change my thoughts or feelings.

If someone can fall out with you over your choices, they are not worthy to even know you.

Stop being a full-time YES man, and start standing up for yourself.

By now, you should be able to distinguish between the genuine people who add to your life and those who do not benefit you.

I had to balance my decisions by saying NO to the financial and physical vampires.

I support vulnerable people with time, empathy, and fighting against the injustice they experience, and in return, I feel rewarded when they succeed. That is the balance.

In everything, there must be a balance.

Natalie Bleau

The Scripture of Balance.

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