I always remember back in the seventies as a child you had no voice, children did not have any opinions they did not get involved in adult conversations like they do today, the parents protected them from the reality of the wicked and evil world that we lived in, at least until they started school.

I have noticed that children can speak freely, in a way this is a positive change, for today, especially if they are facing abusive situations in dysfunctional family settings.

I was always the reserved type of teenager and was not good at talking as I had no confidence. I spent time together with guys as I always acted very boyish. I avoided any deep conversations.

It had taken me a long time to develop confidence and to be able to identify with myself. I had so much inside me that I needed to release.

One thing I can say for myself is that I was no pushover, I still had the power within me that allowed me to think for myself, I would never allow anyone to force me into anything or take control of me. I was nobody’s fool.

I had low self-esteem, but I still held on to my self-respect and all the values that I had within me. But I became militant, suspicious, and complicated. My fear of commitment never changed.

It took a long time for me to find myself, after many years, trying to die, I finally found a reason to stay alive.

I am at my happiest when I am standing up for what is right, encouraging people who are afraid to use their voice. I have suffered from depression and mania throughout my journey, this had always been an embarrassment to me, now I embrace who I am.

I have since acknowledged that I have not wasted any years of my life, it is part of my journey, with this experience I can help others.

Today I am a quite different person to who I was ten years ago. I have found my voice and used it for the positivity of the people who need me. I feel powerful and refuse to allow anyone who wants to make me feel stupid in public.

I would not say that I am a feminist, but all that nonsense, men being in charge and women staying silent is total nonsense and has no place in my life.

I have been in situations where people have tried to make me feel like I am incapable of putting a sentence together and tried to make me look stupid in public. I stood my ground as I always will.

 I have seen women in relationships with these types of men, all they are is a trophy ‘look stunning and smile,’ If somebody asks them a question, they look as if they need permission to speak. I am sure that they have intelligence and when they are away from their ‘owners’ they can freely be themselves.

There are countries where women are still treated as second class citizens, they have accepted that they will never be in control with their lives or make decisions as their existence is to raise children, satisfy their husband, domestic work and keeping their selves in check.

What might have been the norm decades ago, under different circumstances, does not work now. Men were meant to be good role models, who woman could look up to, honour and respect and their children could feel safe and secure.

Daily, I thank God today for the way my Father and Mother raised me with respect for myself and gave me the tools to survive living in alone in this world. I may not have been happy with some of the rules, but it has made me who I am today.

That is why, today, we should all have a little bit of independence and not rely on one person to do everything for us, take a bit of the strain off them as we cannot guarantee that it will last forever.

In everything there must be a balance like taking responsibility for who we are and how we live our lives. Everybody has a voice use it in the best way that you can.

If someone or something makes you feel unhappy, threatened, or uncomfortable prepare yourself to get rid of it. YOUR LIFE = YOUR CHOICES



Natalie Bleau

The Scripture of Balance

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