My life seems to of gone by so quickly that I realised how much time I have wasted in my mental and emotional coma.
I feel I have just been existing rather than living.
I guess when you are young you feel that time is always on your side and that you need not hurry. The truth is that as the time passes by you will wish that you got your things in order.
I had only started showing sincere gratitude to God for the past few years as I had an awakening.
The awakening happened after my late Father died. I began to take notice of everything that he taught and encouraged me to do. I stopped trying to die and took the next steps to implement the changes.
The biggest challenge for me was all my resentments towards others that had wronged me in my early life.
I realised that I would stagnate sitting down moping and comparing notes with others. What a waste of all those precious years.
Refraining from medicating myself with alcohol and tobacco was the beginning of my transformation. If I were to live a life to encourage others, I needed to get rid of the things that eventually would take away my health.
I have decided that I would not waste another day without trying to do something that was productive whether it be from writing, painting, or reading.
I am an active person. I could not sacrifice myself sitting in front of the television daily and feed my mind with dramas and soaps.
Television is often used as a distraction for people who have nothing else to do and some who need the companionship of voices in the room. It is also the reason families hardly ever communicate.
I realised that no matter how old you are time is precious because we do not have a lot of it. You must be mindful in everything you do as nothing lasts forever.
People are forever questioning about what I have not done in my life. I have corrected them and spoke. “What I have done in the last couple of years of my life has made me who I am today. I have no regrets about not having what you think I need”
I have no regrets about living alone without children. if anything, that is the best thing that has ever happened to me because my time is spent with me. No restrictions and no one telling me what to do.
In my calculate, a child would need 75% of your attention and a husband the rest for which I would make my life unbearable.
I love children, but the idea of being responsible for another life is overwhelming.
I am not a fully introverted person, but I do love the silence of just sitting with myself.
I find myself less interested in wasting my time with other people’s dramas and I am not easily forced into doing something I have no enthusiasm for.
The balance of my life is about me and nobody else.
I allocate my time to suit my purpose. I have no responsibilities other than my work that I will continue to do until I take my last breath.
In everything there must be a balance
Natalie Bleau
The Scripture of Balance
