There is a saying that ‘history sometimes repeats itself’ and this is common in many families. What has been passed down from our descendants can either be a blessing or a curse. 

The terrifying truth is the influence that some of us have been conditioned with, especially from other people’s negative past experiences in their lives. 

When building a house, the foundation must be strong, if it is weak then it will collapse. 

The same is said of a new-born baby as he/she enters the world with a lack of knowledge and is that of a clean canvas. If the child is brought up around a lot of negativities, they have no chance of developing positive psychological growth.

When a person has had a traumatic past, they can unconsciously pass the psychological pain down to their offspring. 

For example, sometimes if they had a loveless relationship with their carer’s, they could become emotionless in their behaviour towards their offspring.

I always wonder when a child has not experienced love and affection from their carer’s, how it is possible for them to be able to develop positive behaviour towards their own children.

However, some people who have carried this pain, have shown resentment towards their carer’s, and decided to give their children everything, other than discipline, hence the children become spoilt and have lost all respect for their parent.

On the other hand, we have the more balanced person who has decided to deal with their pain through therapy before having children. It helped them to be more mindful of continuous of the behavioural cycle.

Some other adults have decided against having children because they feared that there was a possibility that they would become just like their careers.

The trauma of the past can affect the shape of the future as you spend your life ruminating on all the learned negativity that you received as a child.

For example, a child’s self-esteem and confidence can be destroyed from being constantly told by their carer’s that they are ugly and will come to nothing. They will live their lives believing this and will always feel that they are not good enough. The negativity of their emotional and psychological development will stagnate.

The vicious cycle has continued throughout history because the victim has never been taught how to take back their power from the very people that have been psychologically controlling them throughout their lives.

The worst part is when the carer refuses to acknowledge the wrong that they have done and stubbornly feel they do not owe anyone an explanation.

The greatest fallout between the grown-up child and the carer is the lack of accountability for misgivings of the past. The sudden case of amnesia is the excuse, as they refuse to be seen as guilty of failing the child.

The adult- child has every right to hang on to their resentments, if the carer does not even attempt to meet them half-way.

The hypocrisy of It all is the ability of the carer who feels that they have the right to sit back and condemn others for the same behaviour that they are guilty of.

The conclusion of the matter is that we need to examine ourselves within and acknowledge the pattern of behaviour in our pasts rather than dismiss the truth.

Redeem ourselves and free others from this trauma by accepting that this is how we were, and not who we are today.

Asking for forgiveness for our ignorance and accepting that we have made a mistake is a start.

Pretending that you are not aware of a problem is going to bury you eventually.

Honesty is the best policy and the way to a more positive relationship in your general life.

In everything there must be a balance.

Natalie Bleau

The Scripture of Balance.

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