‘A blustering, mean, or predatory person who, from a perceived position of relative power, intimidates, abuses, harasses, or coerces people, especially those considered unlikely to defend themselves’
This sensitive subject is close to my heart as I have experienced and witnessed the damage this criminal offence can cause.
People who bully others are often insecure individuals, but it does not give them the right to take it out on the innocent victims.
Bullies are cowards as they choose a person who is less likely to retaliate.
I have been the target of bullying for many reasons throughout my early life.
Racism was rife in South Wales in the eighties, and I had to be constantly fighting for the right to be respected. The teachers were condescending and not any better than the children.
Bullying is a widespread problem in society and the consequences, where there is no intervention, can be fatal.
»» Children are the future of tomorrow »»
The shortest stage in life. Childhood is from 0-12
I believe that children should feel secure in the knowledge that their parents are looking out for them and have their best interests at heart.
It’s a parent’s job to protect and nurture a child.
It is not that straightforward for some children who have to grow up quicker than others. Children as young as six years old are looking after their siblings and sometimes their parent.
This is not a judgement or criticism, sometimes this happens when a parent is not emotionally or mentally available. Children sometimes are left to fend for themselves and end up parenting their siblings and parent.
This is where social services should come in to assess the home and put things in place to support them and to try their best not to separate the family.
Staying on the subject of children, bullying sometimes happens in the home and the only reprieve a child gets is when they are at school. Parents can humiliate and intimidate a child physically, emotionally, and mentally as can their siblings play a part.
The child feels unhappy and unloved and can sometimes take out his/her anger and frustration on an innocent victim, as this is the only way that he/she can process it. Hence, he/she becomes the bully.
Note well!! I do not condone the child’s behaviour.
I believe that when a child is sent to school the teachers/adults are responsible for their welfare. I know that no one has ‘eyes in the back of their heads’ but they should familiarise themselves with the changes in their behaviours in order to look out for their wellbeing.
I have heard excuses such as, lack of funding, how busy and underpaid they are. However, when a fatality happens, the normal answer would be “I have never known this to happen in our school, if we were made aware of this, we would of….”
Every school should have a responsible go-to-person who they can speak to in confidence on a one-to-one basis.
Many children are being failed by adults saying, ‘boys will be boys’ or ‘grow a pair’ and the consequence of this unhelpful response is leading to children becoming traumatised, hospitalised or in some cases death by suicide.
THE QUESTION IS WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TO PREVENT THIS???
“In my own opinion any kind of bullying should not be taken lightly and should be treated as a criminal offence.”
“Bullying can be the destruction of the emotional and mental health of a child. The trauma of the victim’s life can lead to unhealthy behavioural patterns in their adult life.”
BULLIES MUST NOT GO UNPUNISHED!
Then there are the teenagers aged 13-17 and they have taken bullying to another level. This includes peer pressure. Conform to be accepted.
This kind of pressure to look or act a certain way or to participate in unhealthy behaviours like drugs alcohol and sometimes criminal acts.
The problem teenagers already face is the psychological impact of puberty.
A teenager’s brain is not fully matured, as yet, as they go through the growth and hormone fluctuations, they will be conscious of the changes in their bodies.
Parents need to be prepared for the personality changes.
Teenagers want to be recognised as independent adults and with their mood swings, they may be presenting irresponsible and irrational behaviours. They also can become self-absorbed.
This is where the pressure of bullying can really shape the teenager’s future as an adult because at this stage in life everything about what people think of them is a sensitive subject and can be seen as a reality in their minds.
The perfect human being is all about the perception of an individual person. For example, the media will have already given you an idea of the perfect figure and how to obtain it.
Every person is unique, and I believe that variety is the spice of life. I also believe that a person should concentrate on what they have been blessed with and stop listening to judgemental and critical people.
YOU ARE YOU!
Whether you are, petite or large, dark-skinned, or light-skinned, your hair colour, your features and the list can go on. You are unique.
The saddest thing is when you see young people trying so hard to be somebody else that it is killing them.
Through listening to a group of people with unrealistic expectations they end up with psychological defects which can require a lifetime of counselling to undo the damage.
Then we move on to Adulthood 18+, whatever traumas they were put through in their childhood or teens from any form of bullying, they tend to lack self-esteem and confidence.
Unfortunately, some people end up in unbalanced relationships. These people will be put through humiliation, intimidation and also be coerced into things that are against their values.
This is just a part of how a person’s whole life can be damaged through years of bullying and abuse.
It takes a lot of years of CBT and psychodynamic therapy to help a person along the way. Recovery is possible once you have been able to process everything in a mindful way.
The strangest thing is when you become an adult and confronted the bullies from your childhood, they sometimes do not remember what they had done, and if they do, they are not aware of the trauma that they have put you through.
Forgiveness is a choice only for you to make. Hopefully, once you have worked this out, you can then move on with your life.
In everything there must be a balance
Natalie Bleau
The Scripture of Balance
