If learned fear is necessary, so is our ability to control it.

I have had many physicians say to me ‘isn’t it better not to know everything about yourself and just live’

In some ways I agree because when you know that you have a terminal illness this can sometimes weigh down your mind which can make you lose hope and give up.

Looking at it in my way I would rather know what is going on so that I can try to improve myself to have a better quality of life. 

There are times that we can suffer from what we call ‘irrational fears’ where we are minds are conditioned to be pessimistic about everything in life. I would say that this is understandable as psychologically we feel it protects us from disappointment. 

I have been  living my life this way for an exceedingly long time. I  always felt like it was me versus the world. I felt that maybe God hated me and wanted me to suffer as I should have never been born.

I realise that in some instances I still have a long way to go. I always think of the worst-case scenario when it comes to my health. I believe that this is a part of my mental illness.

I have fears for the future, especially after losing my Beloved Father. I hate the fact that I have no control over anything bad that can happen to my family. 

I have fears for my sanity. I never want to be in that insane bubble and never have to spend time in a mental institute again. At times I know that I am not fully in control whether it be through depressive or manic episodes, and I am frightened that it will get out of control. 

Another fear is of losing my home and being thrown out on the streets. It’s enough that I would hate to live with somebody else. I love my home and I live a peaceful, quiet, uncomplicated life and that is what I am grateful for.

I have fears of commitment and being responsible for someone else, but I am at peace with this fear as I realise that it is not likely to ever happen. I am at least in control of that choice.

It’s all about the mindset and what we choose to focus on and where we allow our thoughts to go. Switching off the negative thoughts is easier said than done and is sometimes extremely hard to do, especially when you are faced with the reality that something may not be at all well.

Some fears that we have been ingrained in us since we were children and have caused us to lose our flexibility in life. Instead of feeling free, it has made us put limitations on our life and restricted us from being who we really want to be.

Fear is an unpleasant emotion and unless you can overcome some of the obstacles you will never be able to find freedom.

In everything there must be a balance.

Natalie Bleau The Scripture of Balance

1 comment
  • Haydn
    April 18, 2022

    The only fears we can be in control of is our imagined ones.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.