GRATITUDE VS DISGRUNTLEMENT!!

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I never knew how fulfilling it was to say the words ‘I am grateful’ out loud, although I knew deep down, within myself, I was and am very grateful for everything positive in my life.

I did not acknowledge the word ‘grateful’ until my wonderful Aunt, had introduced me to having a gratitude jar. She is an amazing, beautiful soul and helps to keep me on the road to positivity, for that I am grateful.

We all go through times, where we find ourselves discontent and complaining about everything in our lives, there is nothing wrong with that, we live in an imperfect world of trials and tribulations.

I will admit that I am one of the ‘world’s worst moaners’ I like everything to be perfectly in place and on time. I can find myself mentally and emotionally drained through my own rituals.

The gratitude is there, but there lies also my mental struggle.

I am grateful for every day I wake up and feel well, I have been granted another day, although sometimes I wake up with dread, as a black cloud tries to take over my mind and destroy my day. I often have this challenge and must try to change my mindset.

I am grateful that I have an empathetic and caring nature, I work hard to try and help others to overcome their demons. This, I believe, is my calling. 

The most important people in my life are my family, we may have had our ups and downs, but we still emotionally and mentally support each other. My Beloved Father was the backbone of the family, we all miss him but as far as I am concerned, he is there in spirit.

I have great relatives, aunts, uncles, cousins and each one of them is a special part of the equation. They are my family, and they matter.

Materialistic things cannot be taken with you to your grave, but I am grateful for the roof over my head, the things that I possess and the knowledge I have gained over the years to protect my well-being. 

It would be easy for me to overlook the good things that I have in life if I concentrate on my, not so good, experiences, and the one thing I hate hearing people tell me is that there are people worst off than I am. What is that all about?

Everyone has a level of resilience, and you cannot compare one person’s difficulties with another’s. There is no comparison as we all are different. 

I understand that there is a generation of people that appeared to have accepted their fate and if we decide to delve deeper mentally and emotionally, they had not. They were always told not to talk about their struggle and to just get on with it. Later in life this kind of behaviour had greatly affected them.

I suffer from chronic pain and must make sure that I have a manage my mental health. I need to make sure that I stick to a daily routine, which has been very difficult. 

The most important task is that I get enough sleep, remember to eat and be mindful of anything that will trigger my depression. I am a very light sleeper as I suffer with night terrors if I go into a deep sleep.

This means that I am always alert, and I can hear every sound that is going on around me and I am not a fan of noise, not even the ticking of the clock.

I have a very low concentration span; I can be easily distracted especially when the subject is not that thrilling and straight to the point. Therefore, I find it easier to do my educational courses online and read through the material myself.

My other big complaint is the ‘lateness and unreliability of others’ I put that down to disrespect. I am grateful that the person has asked to meet with me but not so grateful if I know that my time is being wasted.

I am a very organised person and have no interest in people who leave things till the last minute, when planning an event, it must run smoothly and efficiently, I make sure I give the late comers an attendance time of an hour, before the proposed venue starts, and the unreliable people I just do not rely on them.

In life there must be a balance. Gratitude is an important part of life, and we should always give thanks for everything that we have.

Natalie Bleau

The Scripture of Balance