When I first joined the Police Force in the 1990’s, one thing that I remember when I studied at Hendon Police Training School was, about the word ‘communication’.
Communication is when the message remains the same.
Have you ever played a game called ‘Chinese Whispers’?
A group of people sit together, one person begins by whispering a small sentence to the person sitting next to them, by the time the message is received by the final person, the original message does not tally.
It is very important how we communicate with each other, as some people tend to take offence easily by reading into it the wrong way, especially if that person has a negative view of themselves and the world around them.
I have been misunderstood on many occasions in my life, I meant well but the message I communicated was taken the wrong way, the outcome was met with hostility.
Today I am mindful of how I communicate a simple message when involved in a conversation with others, I must really think about what I am going to say and how to say it.
I can take a criticism, but I will not accept a judgement.
If a person, I am close to has said something, that I find a little insulting, I normally challenge them, in a mindful way, to question exactly what they are trying to tell me. If I feel offended, I tell them in mindful way with no aggression or malice.
It has been through spiritual growth that I have been able to master this technique as before I would be an angry person, it also depends on the severity of the receiver if it was a false accusation, then Mindfulness goes out the window. Unfortunately, I have not mastered how to completely ignore that one yet.
Many careless words that have been exchanged between people, has damaged friendships and relationships. A spoken word cannot be taken back. A person may forgive you for what you have said, but they will lose the level of respect they once had for you.
Mindfulness communication is vitally important in all walks of life, people in authority and other public figures have a responsibility to be careful of who, where and what they say out loud when speaking in front of the media, as the message they put out reflects on their public image.
Being mindful is thinking about what you are going to say before you say it by being consciously aware of how it can be taken and speaking your truth without offence.
Communication is not just about talking; it is about effective listening. I have recently mentioned in one of my previous journals about the people that have a bad habit of talking over everybody else or you have the wafflers who constantly chatter, and you find that your mind ends up drifting elsewhere.
There are some people who are only interested in getting their point across and have not really acknowledged anything you have said. They are ‘all about them’ and I truly believe that they love the sound of their own voice.
There could be many reasons, some people may take a back seat in their personal lives, hence why they want to be seen as a dominant force, some are often lonely, or you get the people that are egoistic and self-obsessed.
We are all unique individuals, and we are entitled to having our own beliefs and opinions, the next step in effective communication is respecting that everybody has different feelings about the world, and no one should be judged on what they believe is true to them.
In everything there must be a balance, communication will work if all participants learn the technique of listening rather than over talking.
The Scripture of Balance