I always said to my parents that having a caring nature is not always a blessing and that it is also a curse, especially if you are one whose empathy extends to taking on other people’s problems.

The worst part of a problem is, when they never seem to want to find a solution and feel comfortable just continuously complaining.

Misery loves company, some people like to dwell on negative talk with others who are alike, and it makes them feel alive.

It is sometimes a sacrifice being there to encourage someone who is going through a hard time, but you must look after yourself first and be mindful that you are mentally and emotionally stable to be able to let go of their problems when you have done all you can for them.

I have, in the past, made the mistake of getting too involved with a friend’s problems and when I have arrived home, I have found myself spiritually and emotionally drained and imbalanced.

There are times when I am in a ‘dark place and someone has bombarded me with their woes, and it has made me start having a great impact on my psych.

Today I practice the technique of protecting myself against any of this dark energy. In my mind’s eye it is like a person ‘crossing themselves’ and clinging to their rosary beads.

In some circumstances where you may attend a sad event, like an illness or death, I tend to keep a brave face on and be careful how I communicate with the person(s), there is nothing wrong with tears or emotion, however I leave that for my alone time, or if it feels overwhelming, I tend to take a rest room break. There really is no right or wrong in this situation.

I have learnt to protect myself, over the years, from negative conversations. In a situation where the conversation seems to be draining my soul, I excuse myself and make my exit strategy.

In any situation if you are finding that something does not feel right for you, do not feel that you must just sit, listen and suffer. Why torture yourself?

Another technique I use especially when I am mentoring is by changing a negative situation into a positive when necessary.

The only situation that may not have a desired effect is if a person has received devastating life changing news, you will find that people have different reactions to sudden bad news, so you must be mindful of what you say.

My normal reaction would be to offer that person a hug and let them know that I am there for them if they want to talk.

One thing I do not understand in life are people who tend to enjoy spending their time putting other people down.

Personally, I think that they have a big problem with themselves, so they do this to make themselves feel better.

When you are a teenager or young adult this kind of negative behaviour can really bring you down and if you already have a sense of low self-worth, it has a bigger impact on your mental health.

In the years gone by I since learnt not to give a damn what other people think or have to say about me, I know who I am better than anyone else. At the end of the day, I am my judge and jury.

A great technique to use against your haters is to laugh at them because it’s their problem not yours.

In everything there is a balance we need to weigh up the pros and cons of how any situation may affect our balance before entering it.

Natalie Bleau


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