REACHING CONTENTMENT

According to the Collins dictionary, contentment is a feeling of quiet happiness and satisfaction.

In days gone by, a common expression frequently heard was “making do.”

From my perspective, “making do” means being content with what you have and not desiring anything beyond that.

The question is whether “making do” signifies acceptance of life or materialism.

It is a common trait of human nature to desire more and to have expectations for oneself and others.

For instance, if an individual has been in a job for a considerable period, they may aspire to a promotion or a pay raise.

Another scenario is when a person ends a relationship searching for a more fulfilling one.

An individual may strive to avoid mental stagnation by continuously seeking opportunities for education and personal growth.

The three examples all involve striving to improve one’s circumstances to achieve contentment.

I must admit that I had not been content with my life, and this discontent stemmed more from psychological factors rather than material ones.

My unhappiness and dissatisfaction stemmed from interactions with people and environments.

During my growth, my expectations were mentally and emotionally centred around well-being, hugs, trust, and words of compassion rather than material possessions.

I later realised that as I grew older, words held little value compared to actions, which were the actual indicators of love and care.

My Father didn’t need to express his love through words because his actions, words, and protectiveness made it clear that he loved me deeply.

My mother, on the other hand, was emotionally unavailable as she grappled with understanding the concept of love. It made me realise that if you are not shown love, it can be challenging to reciprocate it to others.

Growing up was difficult for me as I constantly felt singled out and made to feel guilty for simply existing. I often felt like I was in the way and would withdraw into my world to cope with these feelings.

The early chapters of my life, particularly the six years spent living in South Wales, were the most horrendous and torturous years I have ever experienced. It is something that I will never be able to forget.

During that time, I felt like I was existing and not truly living. I was constantly fighting to maintain my sanity, feeling extremely unhappy and even contemplating death. Being in a foreign environment far from any relatives, I felt trapped with no way out.

Without delving into too many specifics, my life didn’t truly begin until 2011, after I had, in a sense, come back from the dead.

If you constantly seek approval from others to feel validated, you are not truly living your life.

After my hospital stay in 2011, I realised that significant changes were necessary for my future.

Despite appearing as the perfect family from the outside, the reality was far from that for me.

After living in ignorance, it wasn’t until the pandemic hit that I finally saw the error of my ways. I realised I had squandered valuable time seeking validation and acceptance from others.

If I had heeded my Father’s advice long ago, I could have spared myself from the bitterness and anger that consumed me. It took his passing for me to understand the wisdom of his words and act finally.

I possessed the necessary tools for so long but should have used them. I became my worst enemy, consumed by others’ influences and opinions.

It took me years to finally realise I could reclaim my power from those I gave it to.

I discovered true contentment in having my voice and embracing my authentic self. I no longer cared if others didn’t like me or what I had to say.

Whether they were friends or foes was no longer relevant. Their words lacked any substance and were as fleeting as the wind.

I finally had control over my life, and manipulation or intimidation no longer had any power over me.

I found freedom by acknowledging my flaws and imperfections, seeking forgiveness, and focusing on the present moment.

Those who attempted to hold me back with reminders of my past neglected to see that I had moved on.

I refused to continue being the scapegoat in my family; from now on, I was determined to stand up for myself.

I never lied; I always spoke the truth. However, it became a lie when I had to retract it to protect my well-being.

I strive to maintain my mental, emotional, and physical well-being, and while I wouldn’t say no to having a bit more, it is only through gratitude that I can be content with what I have now.

Although I struggle with maintaining friendships and relationships and avoid intimacy, I have come to accept that it is not the end of the world.

I am selective about the people I allow into my inner circle, and if I have peace of mind before my head hits that pillow at night, I am content.

Through prayer, I seek wisdom, knowledge, peace, and forgiveness from the God of my understanding.

I have no desire to harm anyone, and I feel no need to explain myself any further to others who lack understanding.

I have chosen to stay true to my values and beliefs. I will embrace my true self and politely decline requests that don’t align with my sense of well-being.

Why subject yourself to toxic environments filled with negativity, hate, and resentment among individuals?

I don’t hold any hatred towards people, but I choose to distance myself from those who breathe hate towards me.

Today, I want to remind you to release anything hindering your progress towards healing and personal growth to maintain balance.

In everything, there must be a balance.

Natalie Bleau

Scripture of Balance