TAKING THE FIRST STEP

November 25, 2023
5 min read

Transforming your life doesn’t require an overwhelming collection of 100 self-help books. Rather, it demands the power of action.

While my books serve as a source of encouragement, it ultimately falls upon you to embark on the journey by taking that initial step.

Whenever I found myself lost in a relationship, I tended to seek answers from external sources instead of acknowledging the truth that I already held within. 

It took me a while to realise that some things are simply unfixable, and attempting to do so would only result in a futile waste of time.

However, you may choose to hold onto hope and deceive yourself regarding the circumstances, yet ultimately, you will bear the pain in the future.

The one aspect that truly irked me was the constant influx of negative opinions from others.

It baffled me how, even without an inkling of understanding about the situation, they managed to cast an unwarranted curse upon it.

It didn’t take long for me to come to the realisation that I couldn’t solely place the blame on the other person in this situation, as I had to take responsibility for my peculiar actions.

Growing up in a devout Christian household, I was constantly compelled to portray myself as faultless.

My strict upbringing instilled in me a strong sense of morals and values, leading me to believe that I was incapable of making mistakes and that any misbehaviour on my part could easily be pardoned.

Throughout my existence, I found solace in belittling those who veered off the conventional path while patting myself on the back for never succumbing to their ways.

Yet, in truth, I held no superiority over them. Though they may have stumbled and erred countless times, they possessed the freedom to embrace their true selves.

Unlike them, I was trapped, devoid of freedom and control.

My vision was clouded by archaic principles, and I failed to realise the shackles that bound me.

Having a parent who had an unwavering pursuit of perfection shaped me into someone who was overly critical and felt ashamed to associate with individuals deemed unconventional.

Unbeknownst to me, I had an underlying envy for their unwavering confidence and the liberation they possessed.

For far too long, I lacked the self-assurance to express my thoughts and emotions, doubting the validity of my own opinions. 

It was as if I were trapped in a web of deception, constantly burdened by guilt.

I was introduced to a lot of self-help books, all of which were recommended by those around me.

While these books did offer some valuable insights, I found myself questioning the necessity of relying on them to validate my own mental and emotional struggles.

It was evident to me, with or without the aid of any book, that I had endured significant damage in these aspects of my life.

I found myself in a situation where I believed that accomplishing the impossible was my only option.

Despite undergoing various psychological therapies, I soon realised that their effectiveness relied heavily on my active participation.

However, it wasn’t until I experienced a profound spiritual awakening that I understood the true meaning behind it all: I needed to relinquish control and place my trust in a higher power.

With this newfound understanding, I made the courageous decision to let go of everything that hindered my personal growth and embarked on a journey of self-discovery.

Reconditioning your mind and replacing negative beliefs with your inner voice is undoubtedly a challenging endeavour.

However, it was a necessary step for me to embark on the journey of healing and personal development.

There is a limit to how long you can escape from your true self, but once you embrace who you are, liberation awaits.

Deceiving oneself or living in denial consumed a significant portion of my life, and only God knows how much time remains for me to live authentically.

It is often said that embracing the truth can lead to liberation, and this sentiment holds immense truth.

The balance I have achieved in my life is truly remarkable.

Although I may encounter hardships and obstacles along the way, I possess the ability to transform negative situations into positive ones.

I welcome criticism and judgement with open arms, as I find great value in self-reflection.

However, unless you are willing to confront your flaws and imperfections, you lack the authority to act as both judge and jury.

I wholeheartedly embrace and accept all aspects of myself, including the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

I find great joy in openly sharing my mistakes with others, as it serves as a powerful source of encouragement, reminding them that there is always hope for a brighter future.

I firmly believe that growth and transformation are constant possibilities, and my ultimate aspiration is to evolve into an enhanced and improved version of who I am.

I may never attain perfection, yet that realisation should never serve as a justification for inflicting harm upon others.

Instead, it serves as a constant reminder that there is always room for improvement in my journey.

In everything, there must be a balance.

Natalie Bleau 

The Scripture of Balance 

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