THE BLACK SHEEP

January 13, 2024
5 min read

I have branded as the black sheep in the family, which means I was inadequate or insignificant. 

Individuals are often labelled as the outcasts of society, commonly referred to as the black sheep, due to their actions that supposedly bring disgrace upon their family.

 However, the sole disappointment I have caused is my failure to assert myself and stand against those who mistreated me.

I perpetually found myself as the oddity, the one who never quite fit in.

The reality unfolded because of a several individuals’ deep animosity towards me which cause a ripple effect.

Within the narrative I’ve crafted, a black sheep stood as the most ostracized, enduring the torment of mistreatment.

The label assigned to me may not resonate, yet the profound emotions of hatred, abuse, loneliness, and sadness that permeated my childhood played an integral part of my journey.

The seeds of self-loathing were sown through relentless torment and the constant echo of my unpopularity.

Despite my strength and the path, I have chosen, I remain acutely aware of the lingering animosity people hold towards me, ready to pounce at the slightest misstep. 

They are determined to keep me tethered to my past.

This constant reminder has made me cautious of those around me, yet I refuse to grant them the satisfaction of provoking a reaction.

The one person who truly understood and cherished me was my Father. He possessed an innate understanding of my innermost self and tirelessly endeavoured to shield me from the harsh realities of life. 

It is my belief that my struggles in forming meaningful connections, be it in relationships or friendships, stem from deep-rooted trust issues.

In a world where those closest to you harbour an intense hate, how can you possibly place your faith in someone beyond that inner circle?

This is one of the factors that makes me cautious about entering relationships, as I refuse to accept anything that has the potential to become overwhelming.

I find no appeal in engaging in unhealthy relationships, and when someone fails to contribute equally, it creates a burden of stress.

 Consequently, I am unwilling to compromise my own well-being and inner tranquillity, even if it means doing this journey called life on my own.

I am done with the constant need to please others, and from now on, I will prioritise my own comfort even if it means disappointing others.

Throughout my life, I have encountered countless individuals who possess an overwhelming sense of selfishness and self-centeredness. Their sole focus is to reap personal benefits, disregarding the needs and well-being of others. 

This unfortunate reality has significantly altered my perspective on various aspects of my life.

Naturally, I am inclined to be kind-hearted and generous with my time, always willing to lend a helping hand. 

However, I have often found myself being taken advantage of by these individuals who exploit my good nature for their own gain. 

Regrettably, I have come to realise that I have suffered more losses than gains from these so-called friendships.

Consequently, I have reached a point where prioritizing my own well-being becomes imperative. 

It is only logical to put myself first, considering the negative experiences I have endured.

 By doing so, I aim to protect myself from further harm and ensure that my own needs are met before extending my kindness to others.

Every single person I have encountered, who has been unjustly labelled as the black sheep, has proven themselves to be far greater than anyone could have ever imagined.

These individuals have endured countless instances of prejudice and animosity, yet they have consistently demonstrated an extraordinary level of resilience. 

It is these very people who possess the unwavering determination and strength to triumph in life.

Gone are the days when I would wallow in self-pity, for I have reclaimed the authority that I once bestowed upon others. 

Now, all I can do is empathise with them, as they succumb to a life of mediocrity.

I have unwavering faith in the concept of karma, a force that circles back around, and I am equally convinced of the incredible influence of the number three.

Exercise utmost caution in your actions towards others, for the repercussions of ill-intent return threefold as misfortune.

To those who have branded me as the black sheep, I simply urge them to reflect upon their own lives. 

Take a moment to truly assess their fulfilment, happiness, and contentment. 

What remarkable accomplishments have they attained throughout their journey?

The once ostracized black sheep is in the process of healing its wounds and is now flourishing, relentlessly pursuing greater heights and accomplishments.

 From this point forward, no ounce of animosity, anguish, or judgement shall impede my progress ever again.

In everything, there must be a balance.

Natalie M Bleau 

Scripture of Balance 

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