It is always good to know that you have people who genuinely care about you, they are there for you, through the highs and lows of your life. Someone who is not there to pass judgement or criticise you. Someone who is willing to listen, or even just sit in silence.

Some people are afraid of being with a person who is suffering as it is too upsetting and leaves them feeling imbalanced. They are sensitive, not selfish people.

I have had experiences in life where the people who rely on you to help them, however when you are struggling, they are no longer available, they are the selfish ones.

There are some people who you are never going to be able to help, they will mentally drain you and are not interested in finding a solution to the problem, they are happy to live their lives miserably and always seem to be in the company of like minded people.

I am still learning how to manage the balance between optimism and pessimism. I have been living most of my life as a pessimist, the reason was because I felt that being a pessimist was an easier way to protect yourself when the bad times come. I would have all my barriers up in any kind of relationship, I would let no one into my world. I trusted no one other than my Father, as he had never disappointed me.

I never believed that anything good could ever happen in my life and in a way, it never did, any hope of happiness I could have had, I would ruin by my coldness, and I would find reasons to be suspicious of that person or have paranoid delusions that I treated as facts, I partly blame it on the influence of the negative past others had.

I did not believe that I deserved anything good, I hated myself. I hated my depressive moods and also the trouble I had brought upon myself with my mania.

After losing my Father to cancer, which has been soul destroying, this has left me asking more questions than receiving answers about the meaning of life. I could never love anyone as much as I loved and adored my Dad.

It took a long while after for me to realise that, if I was to live my life without purpose, I would be better off dead. I decided there and then that I needed to make the biggest decision in my life, after a failed suicide attempt in July 2018, made the choice to live my life on my terms and still learning to love myself,and living to help others who genuinely need me.

Today I have devoted my life to serve by psychologically supporting palliative care patients and mentoring people with mental health challenges. I vowed I would be there for as many people that I can manage. I have to be mindful to take care of myself first as I have my own mental health challenges.

It has been a long journey from where I was 3 years ago to where I am now. In that time, I gave up drinking and smoking, to me that is an achievement. I feel as if have just woken up. There are still difficulties that I will have to manage, it is not easy as I am still going through a lot of mental traumas in my mind and have many challenges especially with my physical and mental pain.

Think on this????

When a person close to you is suffering will you be there to support them throughout?

When things are complicated for them and you are not able to understand, will you be there to listen to them?

Whatever your answer may be, you must make sure you are in the right state of mind.

You need to protect yourself; you will have to set boundaries so that they do not bring you down with them.

You may need someone to offload to, if the problem gets serious.

But don’t feel you have to commit yourself to that person, sometimes the help they need is way too much for you to take on. Refer them to a professional.

Even psychologists get counselling after seeing all their clients.

In everything there must be a balance.

Natalie Bleau
The Scripture of Balance

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