I find the people who feel the need to boast and brag about everything use a small percentage of their brains. There is more to life than material things.
They are purely self-centred and are always comparing themselves with others.
This is a warning signal which shows a person that is not as secure as they expect you to believe. They always think they are the best. Hence their delusional persona.
You don’t have to prove to anyone who you are as most who are switched on have already worked it out by the way you behave.
Why would you look up to someone who delusionally tries to overestimate themselves rather than humbly be who they really are? Anyone can see through this.
I have always treated people with respect regardless of their station in life. Ask any of my colleagues as I would most likely give the time of day to the cleaners than the managers.
Although I am careful of whom I choose to associate myself with I do not look down on the ones that people call ‘ the nobodies. A title or status does not make you better than anyone else.
You will find that the evilest and most corrupt people are in the highest places.
I admire anyone who stands out as different because they are just being themselves. I am not a fan of a person who has a fake persona or is a sheep of society.
There is not a living person that meets the requirements for the ideal persona, those who think they do are delusional.
A person who is close to having the perfect persona is measured by their characteristics of attitude, behaviour, and mannerisms. Some have come quite close but they normally are humble ones that didn’t even recognise their values.
Perfection is a tall order and requires constantly becoming your self-critic and regularly trying to improve yourself in every way possible.
I have always been critical and judgemental of myself and that has kept me on my toes. I have lived with a twisted persona but at least I have identified it.
Checking my attitude and behaviour and the negative effect it may have on others helps me to at least, maintain a healthy balance in my life.
I am not looking to be perfect but aiming to become a better version of myself in all areas of my life.
It is not about being shallow or materialistic. My whole attitude to the way I live my life and care about my basic needs says enough about me.
I was brought up to be next to perfect in my behaviour and appearance. People could never say that I was disrespectful in any way.
I have never been in the conversations of negative feedback from outsiders like a few kids I knew when I was growing up.
I always heard other children being classed as rude, dragged up, destructive, smelly, dirty and greedy.
I recently had a therapy session about my behaviours to work out why people class me as OCD.
These were the points made.
Being organised. Maintaining regular personal hygiene. My punctuality & reliability, education, and ability to multitask.
None of these was diagnosed as obsessive behaviour unless I began to overdo these tasks.
Cleanliness outside of my control was a MAJOR ISSUE
WHY?
I spoke of looking at the floor before I decided where to sit in any establishment as I am particular about getting my attire dirty.
The lack of socialising with people in my home due to fear of the dirt that they may bring in from the streets.
Issues around people and places that are unclean.
Dirty floors, tables or cutlery or glasses in any establishment.
To be honest I would feel safer in a sterile environment.
I told my therapist ‘I respect that everyone has their standards but I am not willing to adjust mine to suit anyone else.’
There is a difference between dirtiness and untidiness.
Whether dressing casually or smart I have to make sure that I look tidy in my appearance. A cleansed body, clean clothes and not a hair out of place etc
What changes would I make?
I have a friend who goes one step further than me. He was horrified when I said some of the things I don’t do.
I DONT…
Always iron all of my clothes or polish my shoes. I sometimes leave my teacups in the sink overnight. I hoover and dust my home twice a week.
So, it’s not just about being a woman.
I was brought up around a Father with high standards of living. He was well-groomed and would never leave his home looking scruffy or dirty.
My therapist concluded that I have already decided that I would not change the major issue. There would be no adjustments.
My parents have always said to me that ‘ no one is going to respect your home as much as you do’ and that concludes the why.
I admit that my character has changed in some ways. My levels of tolerance towards others’ behaviours haven’t improved, but my lack of patience is getting better with time.
I remain polite, respectful, and kind towards others. The people that make me feel uncomfortable to be around I refuse to associate with.
Growing up in a selfish society of toxic human behaviours, and trying to overcome my defects I have to choose my circles wisely or I will not grow.
The main thing I love about my life is having a purpose to fulfil, by helping those who need a voice to be heard.
The unnecessary time I have wasted in my life due to spiritual bankruptcy I just put down to experience. I am very much awake today and intend to spend what is left of my life doing what I do best.
When I was younger it was partly all about what I wanted and later found that I didn’t need. The spirit of experience has been my teacher and I am continuing to learn about myself.
I cannot be true to others without being true to myself.
In everything, there must be a balance.
Natalie Bleau
The Scripture of Balance
