Inspired by my therapy session. 5/2/2023
Limited living is through fear and lack of self-esteem we create obstacles in order not to get deeply involved in any given situation.
We also allow our minds to be controlled by childhood influences.
That is why we stagnate.
We can always go back and blame it on the rigid teachings of our childhood, but it is up to us as adults to make up our minds about how we choose to go forward in our lives.
YOU WILL NEVER SPIRITUALLY GROW!!
The saying ‘you only live once’ is a true statement although it can be an excuse for others to live their lives recklessly without thinking about the repercussions of their mistakes or disregarding who they hurt in the process.
I don’t believe that anyone gets away with having regrets in their life, we all make mistakes.
I am the first to hold my hands up and say sorry.
The ego can get in the way of being true to yourself and sets you back without any room for positive, growth.
I admit that I am not comfortable with my emotions, being exposed to the world, as it puts me in a vulnerable position where someone can take my power away from me.
When I don’t have a valid answer I keep my mouth shut so as not to be seen as pathetic or ignorant. It is important for me to do some research.
You cannot beat lived experience and that is why I stick to talking about my own life’s experiences.
I have limited my progress in life by not allowing myself to become open about my feelings towards others due to fear of rejection, humiliation and scorn.
I have lived with a lot of learned pain listening to everyone else’s stories. I have stopped myself from enjoying the things that I should be doing.
I spent my life basing a person’s negative experience on fact and condemning natural behaviours like affection, love, trust and commitment as entrapment.
Once you fall through that door you can never redeem yourself. The hurt and shame of it all would be too much to bear. And of course…the I told you so.
Hence why I have built up a stone wall around all human connections in my life so as not to get so close and get stung.
This is the ‘limited living’ that I am talking about.
It is normal for a human being to be attracted to someone, you go on a date and if that goes well you would decide to see that person again and get to know them.
Romance is the best part as you take your time to get to know that person intimately.
In my mind, there are two ways it can go for someone who finds relationships complex.
Plan A: You end up sleeping with that person and no longer find them attractive.
Plan B: you want your date to know that you are not selling yourself short. You avoid any sexual contact as ‘what is the rush.
You get to know the person better and you are both have a lot in common and like each other.
Due to your issues around fear you manage to sabotage the relationship.
The only other relationship would have to be casual as you have no intention of committing to anybody.
A committed relationship terrifies me as I don’t like the fact that I have to answer to anyone. There is no perfect person, so it’s about what you are willing to put up with.
The word ‘forever’ sounds daunting. Can I see myself putting up with this persons bad habits and behaviours in twenty years?
It’s easier to make that decision when you are both very young as you are not set in your ways.
I admire anyone who successfully manages to date in their middle age. The sacrifices and the adjustments that you have to make to suit them.
I don’t believe it matters if they have different interests as long as they can compromise.
If a person is lacking the basic principles and life skills then you are in for a stressful relationship where they are not going to meet you halfway.
I am in therapy and trying to improve my attitude towards the way I view relationships as I have been living a limited life.
Limited living can also be found in a one-sided relationship/marriage where one partner tries to control another’s thoughts and how they dress and who they talk to.
Jealousy in a relationship is very unhealthy as well as dishonesty and is why many people stay away from commitment.
I know people who have no choice but to lie to their partners about where they are just to avoid the big confrontation. Is it worth it?
Whether I am in a relationship or not I am an individual and free to be me. I refuse to let anyone control me.
If you are with a serial cheater or someone you cannot trust you are better off without them.
Remember when you were a minor you were under the instructions of authority figures as they believed you are not mature enough to make decisions for yourself?
As an adult, you are accountable for the decisions you make. CHOOSE WISELY!
Remember you permit people to treat you the way you let them. NIP IT IN THE BUD!
Remember you have a brain USE IT!
You have a voice don’t let anyone dismiss or ignore what you have to say because they see you as lesser than them.
SPEAK YOUR TRUTH
Don’t let anyone try to intimidate you in front of their friends.
STAND UP TO THEM!
Too many people allow partners to intimidate them, they are afraid to use their voice because they have quiet so long. They are made to believe that they are incapable of holding a conversation.
DON’T LET THAT STOP YOU!
STOP LETTING THE PAST, PEOPLE OR THINGS LIMIT YOUR CHOICE OF HOW YOU WANT TO LIVE!
Just live and stop just existing.
Believe in yourself and then you will never give away your power again. Use your energy for the good of your well-being.
You are an individual not a collective so live like one.
Ignore people who are Judgemental and Critical it’s their problem, not yours.
If you know that you’re doing right by yourself then you needn’t worry about what people say.
People will get angry and insecure when they have no control over you. Once again that is their problem, not yours.
Do the thing that you thought you could not do, if you are not hurting anyone else, it does not matter.
PEACE LOVE & LIGHT
The Scripture of Balance