If you intend to assist others but lack comprehension of their mental well-being, take the initiative to educate yourself.

There exists a group of individuals who believe they possess all-encompassing knowledge, relying solely on their negative encounters to impose their advice on others.

In times of hardship, some individuals insist that you gather yourself. 

Similarly, others offer unhelpful advice by pointing out that people are facing greater challenges than you. 

While this may hold some truth, it is essential to recognise that each person’s struggles are distinct and personal.

Everyone’s journey is unique; what may pose a challenge for one person could be effortlessly conquered by another.

It is crucial not to pass judgement on the magnitude of someone’s suffering unless you have personally experienced it yourself.

We uncover a dissection of the well-intentioned yet unhelpful advice frequently offered to those navigating the depths of depression or facing challenging circumstances.

People often say that relying solely on medication seems like an easy way out; they believe it’s important to put in more effort and find alternative ways to overcome it.

Another piece of advice that proves to be unhelpful is to simply be grateful for being alive and having certain things.

Unfortunately, this perspective fails to provide any real assistance to someone struggling with depression.

One of the most exasperating things is when someone confidently claims, “I completely understand what you’re going through.”

It is nearly impossible to fully comprehend the depth of someone’s personal experiences, as we each walk our unique path.

This holds especially true when it comes to grief, where the intensity of suffering varies greatly depending on the closeness of the relationship we share with the departed.

The passing of a cherished individual evokes many sentiments, encompassing sorrow, fury, remorse, and self-indulgence.

The profound ache and sorrow that accompany the departure of a beloved soul are emotions that endure indefinitely.

However, one gradually acquires the ability to navigate through these emotions, albeit occasionally being caught off guard by their unexpected resurgence.

Telling someone who is grieving that it is time for them to move on is perhaps the most insensitive thing one can say.

Regardless of whether a loved one passed away five years ago or fifty years ago, every individual deserves the freedom to grieve in their own way and at their own pace.

It has been more than six years and eight months since my dearest Father passed away, and since 2014, when he fell ill, I have been consumed by grief.

The void he left in my life is immeasurable, and I often find myself yearning for his presence, wishing I could have him back, whole and healthy. 

However, there are moments when I contemplate the state of the world and wonder if, perhaps, he is better off being spared from its current trajectory.

Another bothersome aspect of unhelpful words arises when individuals start comparing their illnesses to those of others.

Regardless of the severity, any form of suffering is significant to the person experiencing it. It is not about measuring the intensity of the pain but rather acknowledging its existence and offering support.

It is important to remember that appearances can be deceiving, and one should not hastily judge a person based solely on their outward appearance.

Some individuals possess the ability to conceal their pain and emotions more effectively than others, making it difficult to discern their struggles.

Furthermore, certain topics, such as death, depression, and other illnesses, can create an atmosphere of discomfort. 

This discomfort arises from the fact that some individuals simply cannot comprehend or empathise with these experiences.

It is crucial to approach these subjects with sensitivity and understanding, recognising that not everyone will be able to fully grasp the depth of such challenges.

It can be frustrating and disheartening when someone fails to understand or empathise with your experience of depression. It’s important to remember that not everyone has the same level of understanding or awareness about mental health issues, especially if they come from a different generation or cultural background.

The person you mentioned may have been influenced by the societal attitudes of their time, where mental illness was stigmatised and not well understood. It’s unfortunate that they dismissed your feelings and tried to attribute your depression to worldly possessions or external factors.

Depression is a complex condition that can’t be easily explained or solved by material wealth or external circumstances.

Fortunately, attitudes towards mental health have evolved, and therapy and other forms of support are more accessible today. 

It’s important to seek help from professionals who can provide the necessary support and guidance. 

Remember that your experiences and emotions are valid, and it’s essential to prioritise your mental well-being.

In everything, there must be a balance.

Natalie Bleau

The Scripture of Balance

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