I sometimes wonder why we punish ourselves with the people we choose to stay close to within our circles. I guess we want to give them a chance to redeem themselves or we are just accepting of the toxicity of their behaviour.
These people exist and sometimes are not aware of their practiced behaviour. There are:-
People who emotionally drain you with their problems, and when you need support, they are never available.
People who are not interested in listening to you and only getting their point across.
People who like to judge and blame everybody else even when they are in the wrong.
People who are self-centred, self-absorbed, who make everything about themselves.
People who like to put others down to make themselves feel better.
People who want to control what you do, say, or think and become aggressive if you don’t agree with them.
People who are constantly creating negative drama.
People who do not take your feelings into consideration and constantly put themselves first.
People who try to take away your self-esteem and confidence by humiliating and belittling you in front of others.
These are only the smallest amount of the toxic behaviours that people carry.
I used to be so toxic myself in the way that I was a pessimist and would never believe that anything good could happen in my life.
However, I had optimism for everyone else.
It can sometimes be hard to define being a good friend. Some people live recklessly and irresponsibly and sometimes need a reminder about their unhelpful behaviours and attitudes to others.
I would not encourage a friend to continue doing things that were going to be destructive to themselves or others. If asked, I would be honest with them in a mindful way.
I used to be judgemental in a way that I was straight with them about my feelings with regards to their behaviour, but now I have since learnt to think before I speak and still manage to get the message across.
I have been accused of putting a damper on certain situations that are going on in a person’s life when all I was doing is using my intuition and common sense.
You cannot stop someone from making reckless decisions in their lives, some people never learn until it is too late.
The techniques for toxic people would be easier if we eradicated those people from our lives. However, we may end up without many friends.
The way in which this can be dealt with mindfully would be to switch off from listening to them or ignore their behaviour.
I limit the time I spend with toxic people, and I have become mindful of the way I speak to others.
In everything there must be a balance.
Natalie Bleau
The Scripture of Balance
