Halloween afternoon on my way to the train station, without thinking I walked out into the traffic and almost met my fate in front of a bus.
My mind was full of problematic thoughts. I was distracted to the point that I forgot to be mindful.
The truth is that I have been feeling under a lot of pressure lately. I have been taking on a lot of work and trying to fix my life and live the by faith.
I have been constantly rewinding back to the last three seconds of this event and I am can only tell you how I felt when I had to step and swing round the traffic light pole.
This was a sign from God that I must put my wellbeing before anything and everyone else.
I had allowed what was going on at the time to overwhelm my thoughts.
I spoke to my mother and sister about it, they were shocked. ‘It’s not like you’ is what they replied. “You are always reminding us to be mindful”
If I had died it would no doubt, be ruled as a suicide as everything points to the state of mind I was in at the time.
I am a normally on ‘high alert’ every day that is why being out exhausts my mind.
I decided to write this as a warning to everyone who is feeling under pressure or stress.
It is important that you stop and find a place where you can sit down and think before you are on the move.
That day, I needed to sit down and work through my problems before going anywhere.
But one thing I have learnt is that when I am feeling overwhelmed or stressed that I must mindfully file it away until I am somewhere safe.
NOTHING IS WORTH RISKING YOUR LIFE OVER!
In everything there must be a balance
Natalie Bleau
The Scripture of Balance
