Life tends to throw a lot at you at the same time. Mental health problems with a mixture of other emotional and physical pain does not help. It is only a matter of time before we fall apart.

Yes, we may have the resilience to fight whatever it is that our bodies, hearts and minds are going through, we have probably tried every technique in the book but there are times when we let our guard down and the demons take over.

“I can honestly say that I have been on a high for the past few weeks, I have my regular issues with my physical and mental health but I have some days when I feel I can manage it well especially in my manic phase.”

My physical pain would be from the zero presence of cartilage in the joint of my big toe and the degeneration of the disc in my upper spine. I am not immobile but I am never excited about going to bed unless I tire myself out. I have to keep my mind busy so I do not have to let my demons get me. Its busier than the M25 in my head when my thoughts begin.”

There are the dark days when my mood is very low and if I do not recognise what triggered me I will find that I will not be able to bring myself out of the darkness. “In my opinion mental and emotional pain is so much worst than my physical pain, even though I could take analgesics, I cant as it aggravates my abdomen and also found that it was becoming an addictive. “Why replace one problem with another.”

Mental and Emotional pain is a killer and at times it feels like there is no way out and the only relief is to end it all, there you will find peace and no longer have to think or feel. “This is my final solution” so my head keeps on telling me. “Bear in mind these are my thoughts and not the desirable solution to the problems.”

The solution remained that if I was going to give up I may as well not be here, as I am still alive I can only try my best to manage my health struggles and must try to make the most of this earth time and give time to help other sufferers.


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