When we are born our brains are blank slates ready for knowledge and new experiences in this life. Everything we learn in our early years is taught to us from the people around us.

Let us call our influencers our mentors, whether it be family, teachers just whoever was around you in your early life. “I do not believe in genetic behaviour I believe certain behaviours are learnt” this was quoted by a free thinker.

In our early years is when we are able to absorb the tensions or moods of the primary care giver, is when we begin to develop our own personalities. The things you see, hear and feel are what becomes your reality, your gospel.

As we grow older and become more independent some of us are awake and in tune with self and make the discovery early on that what we have trusted as gospel and learnt from our mentors is from their perspective, it becomes questionable. The rest of us just keep up with this “gospel”and go through life battered by the negative impact and are continuing to search for the answer for the rest of their lives.

A lot of the data that was communicated to us by our mentors, we found that it was based on their own opinions and beliefs, it had stuck with us because we trusted what we thought was their sound judgement, by no fault of our own, back then as youngsters we were not encouraged to think for ourselves if we begged to differ we would be classed as defiant and rebellious.

We respected our mentors and knew they wanted what was best for us. They are trying to save us from tripping up and getting hurt without the knowledge of the impact in later life.

So we continue through life with believing in things we cannot fully explain as our truth and if asked what made us believe this the answer would be “this is what my family believes” truly we have no idea, we cannot own it , this explanation belongs to someone else. Its their truth not ours.

No disrespect to the genuine mentors who really cared for us they did not know any better only what they were taught, but they also left us wounded by their rigid beliefs and opinions around anything that separates us like culture, color, race, sexual development and a whole load of things we could of learnt in a healthier way. We did not live as independent people we lived with our swords drawn and our shields at to protect us from the condemnation that would be upon us.

Here are some examples below of destructive statements that can hinder our progress in life:-

Earlier life “Children are to be seen and not heard”

A man must not show his weaknesses by crying “Be a man not a mouse”

A woman should be wary of men “ Men are out to use and abuse you” they have no respect for women “They are only after one thing and once they get it their gone.”

The one that I find the most disturbing is when a young girl is just starting out in life she is told “99.9% of men are all the same”

My answer to this one was that if it is a fact then it must go both ways “I certainly am not the 99% of women”

I will throw another one in for the males “ Boys should not play with dolls or wear pink its a sign of them being too much like a girl”

These negative statements were made by people who have either heard about or lived the bad experience and were by no way without fault themselves. this was their way of protecting you from what was out there but would also hinder you in your natural development.

This typical statement may be true in some peoples experiences and also passed down but is a very unhealthy formula for a growing child and should not be seen as “gospel” to the point that they take it on and ruin their future and never find any kind of happiness. This can make a person into a militant soldier going through life with your back up, and although you should be careful of who you trust, you start off unhealthy relationships with suspicion, blame, guilt and paranoia.

Men were told not to show their emotions in public or it would make them less of a man. This probably explains a lot of physical and mental illnesses where you have held on to so much for too long and eventually it takes you down either mentally, where you have a breakdown or worse take your life or physically you get cancer, stroke, heart attack etc. The build up of problems is like a time bomb waiting to explode.

Luckily, today, we are putting the message out to both all sexual orientations that it is okay to let your feelings out, it is okay to show your weaknesses. Men are most likely to commit of suicide than a woman. who makes an attempt as they have been taught to repress their emotions.

This subject came as an inspiration to me as I believe that in order to positively progress in life we have to reset our minds, we have to unlearn most of the things that we are taught. We need to start taking responsibility and thinking for ourselves, that is what we have a brain for. Its never too late for anyone to sit back and evaluate who they really are.

We are already living in a controlled society where some people are like sheep and clones they seem to all look the same and life is a competition to them especially as we now have social media where they can advertise their lives fake or not.

The rest of us are just trying our best to make sense of everything else, because of our makeup no one feels they can be who they are, a unique individual, as we continue to waste our time “people pleasing” we feel the need to justify every decision we make so that we do not get disapproval from our families and friends. THAT IS NOT FREEDOM THAT IS BEING UNTRUE TO YOURSELF

You have one life, live it to the fullest and be the best that you can be.


You do not have to believe everything that someone tells you, you are capable of making your own mind up, even if you ask for advice you don’t have to feel under pressure to take it This is your life it is your choice.

You become so much more powerful when you believe in yourself and your own abilities, not just what people say you can and can’t do. Nobody can put a label on you unless you give them permission to. Less of “I CANNOT” and more of “ LET ME HAVE A GO” or “I CAN DO” Unless you give it a try you will never know.

Resetting the Conditioned Mind is one of the hardest tasks you will ever have to do in this life but a ‘must do’ in order to grow and progress in life.

I am not saying you have to throw away your morals and principles or even lower your standards in life I am basically saying that this is your time on this earth and you must do what makes you happy you can’t allow someone else to take control and make your decisions in life for you, it is you that will be held accountable. Embrace who you are, know who you are, SPEAK YOUR TRUTH not to offend but because YOU CAN , YOU HAVE A VOICE!!

The most important part of the reset is the peace you will find once you are practicing this , the guilty ways you have been made to feel about things you are doing in your life are no longer, your self esteem and confidence will improve as you grow to be the real you. You will begin to stop beating yourself up about your past failings and all the time that you feel you have wasted in life people pleasing. YOU BECOME YOU and not a prototype of anybody else.






A good technique that I have learnt through my practices and studies is one my sister had taught me towards the end of 2020.

I suggest for health and safety reasons if you favour this technique to do it somewhere safe where you are unlikely to start a fire. Have with you a bottle of water and a saucer to put the ashes in. This is usually done with the phases of the moon, however what you believe you receive.

  • Write a first list of the things on that you would like to put behind you in your life that you feel are holding you back from progressing.
  • At your desired time, after taking a snapshot of this list, whilst tearing up and burning this list use any chant you feel comfortable with. For example I rid myself of……. each item. Feel it believe it.
  • Write on another piece of paper the positivity that you want in life, see yourself as a powerful individual, believe that all things are possible.
  • At your own desired time tear up and burn this list in the same way you did with the other only this time using a chant of embracing all that you are and want to be.

I found this technique powerful and is very valuable to me. Not everyone would agree with this practice due to their beliefs. However there are many other rituals that you can probably think up for yourself.





1 comment
  • Karen
    October 9, 2021

    Yes indeed – I agree with everything you’ve written here – resetting our conditioned minds is the hardest thing we’ll ever do.

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